Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
