chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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