I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
