dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
