I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
