I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
