BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
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There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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