it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
