When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize