I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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