In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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