Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
