How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We need to get me chipped asap
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
