hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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