I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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