Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
