omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
