I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
