Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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