i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
