Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm at about main and main street
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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