I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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