He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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