its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
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I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
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I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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