I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
