a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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