So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
