I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Randomize
