can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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