I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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