I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
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It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
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What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni