Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden

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  (949) I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden http://tfl.nu/i6ve
  Replies (9) Good night (1768) Bad night (732)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet

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  (603): He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet http://tfl.nu/8qij
  Replies (7) Good night (943) Bad night (2479)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?

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  (780): Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top? http://tfl.nu/gcls
  Replies (47) Good night (1498) Bad night (7032)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Your godly.

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  (403): Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation. (1-403): Your godly. http://tfl.nu/7li2
  Replies (13) Good night (4301) Bad night (1179)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...

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  (804): I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working... http://tfl.nu/tuy1
  Replies (18) Good night (6803) Bad night (1068)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.

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  (603): He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like. http://tfl.nu/awah
  Replies (8) Good night (1320) Bad night (2752)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.

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  (+44): I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage. http://tfl.nu/0e7q
  Replies (7) Good night (2942) Bad night (857)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  So. She dumped me today.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".

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  (206): So. She dumped me today. (425): Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving". http://tfl.nu/4be4
  Replies (12) Good night (1343) Bad night (3517)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween

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  (587): My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween http://tfl.nu/z2rb
  Replies (15) Good night (3470) Bad night (1293)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol

  (540): View more from Virginia

  its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now

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  (540): come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol (540): its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now http://tfl.nu/0y7d
  Replies (6) Good night (1782) Bad night (624)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs

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  (313): I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs http://tfl.nu/01r5
  Replies (4) Good night (626) Bad night (1242)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  How was the picnic?

  (516): View more from New York

  We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Why didn't you put them down?

  (516): View more from New York

  No beer left behind.

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  (413): How was the picnic? (516): We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer. (413): Why didn't you put them down? (516): No beer left behind. http://tfl.nu/j969
  Replies (1) Good night (1028) Bad night (403)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours

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  (412): Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours http://tfl.nu/cgpa
  Replies (0) Good night (671) Bad night (498)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.

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  (631): Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less. http://tfl.nu/jxdo
  Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (346)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings

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  (208): Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings http://tfl.nu/oj8r
  Replies (0) Good night (354) Bad night (512)

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