Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE