Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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