Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
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He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
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Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure