Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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