I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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