There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
