PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
