shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
