Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
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you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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