one two three fourrrrnication!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
