I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
