I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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