handjob tips. give me some.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
last night I used snow as a chaser
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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