u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
