So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
