I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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