I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize