Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just pee around me
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
