LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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