Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
