i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
