I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
