I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
