Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
