ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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