On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
