Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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