So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
