im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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