i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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